trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
