my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
