if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
