my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
