I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
