I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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