Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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