It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
