So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
