She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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