If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
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