Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
