You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
