I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
