piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
honey bunches of taint.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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