is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
so let's talk penis.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
