we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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