Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
