You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I wear drunk well.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
