how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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