i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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