I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
