Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize