yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
