It's Friday. Sex?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
