Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize