Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
