No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize