I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
