Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
