if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize