big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
