1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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