I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
