I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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