Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
