i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize