btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
