Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
