Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
