that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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