They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
