Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
