just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
