weddingsv make me drug and hornr
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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