I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
