We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Shitshow foam night was such a success
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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