i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
