We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
