Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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