dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
