she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
