I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
