I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
