I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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