I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
