I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize