SEEEEXXX PLEASE
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
