Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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