I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
