3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
