between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I want her autograph on my taint
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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