I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
