Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
