My underwear smells like fireworks.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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