Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
