unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
