You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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